If you’re thinking you’re approaching the engagement stage in your relationship, you might be wondering how to hint at the kind of ring you’d like. This can be a delicate topic to broach. If you’re dropping subtle hints, they may go completely unnoticed. Or maybe your subtle hints are not so subtle after all and they could be making your partner feel a bit too much pressure.
When it comes to discussing an engagement ring with your partner, good communication is key. It may seem hard to do, but being open and honest is truly a lot better than hoping your hints will be picked up on— and potentially getting frustrated if they are overlooked. So, how should you discuss engagement rings with your partner? Where do you start?
BRING IT UP AT A GOOD TIME
When you’re first bringing up the topic of engagement rings, you want to pick the right time. This means that it should be at the right time in your relationship and at the right time on the day of the conversation itself.
Before you start talking about engagement rings, you should make sure you’re both on the same page about marriage. You can test the waters by bringing this up yourself or wait for him to start talking about it.
Once you know that you and your partner share the same goals (and general timelines) regarding marriage, you can start talking about engagement rings. A good time to do this is when you’re sharing a great moment together, a moment when you’re both feeling happy and excited. Remember that the engagement ring conversation shouldn’t happen when either one of you is in a bad mood or, even worse, when you’re having a disagreement. You want this initial conversation to be positive and tied to feeling happy together.
ASK HIM WHAT HE THINKS
In the past, it was tradition for men to pick engagement rings on their own. However, today the rules about this are a bit looser. If you and your partner are both very traditional, you’ll likely want him to pick the ring on his own, so be sure to let him know that you trust him to do that. If you’re both a bit less traditional, there’s also the option of letting him know the kind of rings you like upfront.
However, even if you think you know the exact ring you’d like, it’s a good idea to ask him what he thinks. He might surprise you with some great ideas, or maybe he has a beautiful family ring he’s dying to give you. It’s important to be open and communicative no matter what your initial ideas are about your engagement ring. You could end up with something you love even more than the “dream ring” you thought you wanted.
UNDERSTAND HIS BUDGET
Engagement rings are a major purchase and it’s important to understand that everyone is working with a different budget. Be understanding of your partner’s budget but be sure to let him know if there are certain engagement ring qualities that are more important to you. For example, some people may want the highest quality diamond they can get but don’t care about the size. Others may care less about quality and just want the biggest diamond possible. Talk about these things with your partner so he can adjust accordingly. Letting him know what’s important to you can help him get you something you love while still staying within his budget.
DON'T CHECK IN TOO OFTEN
If you’re itching to get engaged, it’s tempting to keep bringing up the subject. However, if you talk about engagement (and engagement rings) too often, it can feel like too much pressure for your partner. Remember to relax and let the topic come up naturally.
UNDERSTAND THAT ENGAGEMENT RINGS ARE SYMBOLS OF YOUR LOVE
This last tip is perhaps the most important of all: remember that an engagement ring is a symbol of your bond as a couple. It can be easy to get lost in all the details of choosing an engagement ring and forget that your relationship is what’s truly important. While engagement rings are special, your love for one another is the most precious thing of all. Remember to relax and keep having fun together during this exciting next step in your relationship.